Fieldston's Head of School Stopped By and Got Called On

Every last class should have cake. It gives everybody something to do with their hands besides wave.

Then the head of school appeared at the door. A retiring teacher has many options when the head of school appears at the door: smile, nod, let him say something kind and leave. Levis asked him a question instead. Which motivates people more, the dislike of losing or the love of winning?

The head of school answered: "Hating to lose." And then he stayed, and joined in.

"Hating to lose." It is the most honest answer a head of school has ever given in public, and he gave it in someone else's classroom. I have hated losing since 1984 and have never once been asked about it by a man who was retiring.

Levis closed his last class by going back to the argument the course had been making all year. "Sports are competition," he told them. "Life is not."

Ethics is a core academic subject at Fieldston, taught from the lower school up, with foundational courses and electives in the upper school. Juniors and seniors can even train to teach it: in the school's peer leadership program, they design lessons for middle schoolers on self-awareness, stress, relationships and value-based decisions. One upper schooler, who had always had trouble with public speaking, told the school that having to speak in front of six thirteen-year-olds had helped a lot. Six thirteen-year-olds is the toughest room in America. I have stood in front of three and lost.

I tried the question on my family at dinner. Hating to lose, or loving to win? The youngest said loving to win. The middle one said hating to lose. My wife said she didn't see why it was a competition. Then she took the last of the cake.